By Lisa //
People often think about mental illness as something that happens to those with troubled backgrounds. Or there must be some dramatic story that justifies their struggle. I certainly faced challenges telling mine because I do not have a dramatic or traumatic story. No divorced parents, no sexual assault, no job loss or sudden health issues. All things considered, I had a very ordinary life.
Then one day, as I was about to go for a lecture, I just felt a deep pit in my stomach, like a yawning chasm. I went to the toilet and started to sob uncontrollably. This happened more and more frequently, and for no reason at all. Gradually I withdrew from my friends and even stopped going to church entirely, because I could not explain this feeling of disconnect and emptiness. I am not diagnosed officially, but I suspected maybe it was depression or anxiety.
//On hindsight, I think I was scared and anxious about “adulting” during the pandemic.//
The need to get my act together, secure a job, get married, have kids eventually. The typical Singaporean dream.
I missed many classes and eventually sought counselling in school. The counsellor told me that just because we can’t explain something, doesn’t mean it’s not real, that we don’t need to feel the pressure to justify our struggles.
So I am sharing my story to tell you that your struggles are valid. Keep on doing things that make you fulfilled, keep reaching out. Someone will reach back, and who knows, one day, you can be that person too.
Lisa is a 22-year-old who is passionate in creating more awareness in mental health issues. In her free time, she enjoys photography and playing with her dog.
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