by Sarah //
When life gives you lemons, develop resilience!
That’s not how the saying goes, but it’s an equally good motto to live by. In life, change is the only constant. Developing our resilience is crucial for us to weather the many challenges we will inevitably face.
Why develop resilience?
Singapore’s first nationwide Youth Epidemiology and Resilience study conducted by researchers at the National University of Singapore found that resilience holds the key to good mental health. Using data collected from 2020 to 2022 involving over 3000 young people, researchers found that respondents with higher good mental health scores also had higher resilience scores.
Resilience refers to the ability to successfully adapt to challenging life experiences – to withstand adversity and bounce back. It involves having the mental, emotional and behavioural flexibility to adjust to both internal and external demands. There are various types of resilience, whether psychological, emotional, physical, community-focused.
Resilience is not an innate personality trait that we either have or do not have. Rather, it involves a skill set that we can build over time. Being resilient does not mean we will never experience stress, struggle or suffering, but it means we are equipped with tools to process and overcome hardship, instead of being easily overwhelmed or turning to unhealthy coping methods.
Resilience undoubtedly makes a great difference in improving our mental health. Resilience is a protective factor against psychological distress in adverse situations, and helps in managing stress and depressive symptoms. Beyond mental health, studies have shown that resilience, including characteristics such as having social connections and a strong sense of self-worth, helps people to cope with chronic illness. A person’s resilience can also influence both the progression and outcome of chronic illnesses.
How to develop resilience
If resilience is a quality that any of us can develop, the big question for us is: how can we become resilient? Building resilience is multifaceted, involving a combination of internal strengths and external resources.
Our resilience level depends on our access to protective resources which aid us in working through stressors, rather than the absence of risk factors. The first step is increasing our self-awareness, understanding:
- How we typically respond to stress and adversity
- Understanding our strengths and weaknesses
Here are some factors that build resilience:
- Self-esteem: A positive sense of self and confidence in our strengths can stave off feelings of doubt or helplessness in the face of challenges, increasing our sense of control over our lives.
- Emotional regulation: The ability to manage emotions can help us to maintain our focus when facing a problem, instead of feeling overwhelmed. This can include stress management techniques such as breathing exercises and mindfulness training. Emotional regulation also includes taking time to rest and recharge when necessary!
- Problem-solving skills: Problem-solving and coping skills enable us to work through difficulties and overcome adversity. Choosing to reframe problems through a more positive perspective enables us to perceive them as learning opportunities. This also entails consciously challenging our own negative thinking and recognising thinking traps – the assumptions we make that constrain us.
- Communication skills: Knowing how to communicate clearly and effectively with others helps us to seek support and mobilise resources when necessary.
- Social support: Supportive social systems, such as family, friends or community, can foster resilience in times of crisis or trauma.
Paediatrician Dr. Ken Ginsburg developed the 7 Cs model of resilience. While originally intended to help children and youths, this model can give all of us insight into how we can build our resilience.
- Competence: Competence refers to the ability to handle situations effectively. To build competence, we need to develop our skill set so that we can trust our own judgement and make responsible decisions.
- Confidence: Ginsburg theorises that true self-confidence is rooted in demonstrating competence in real-life situations.
- Connection: Strong connections to family, friends and community foster a sense of security and belonging.
- Character: We need a fundamental sense of right and wrong to make responsible choices, contribute to society and feel self-worth.
- Contribution: Having a sense of purpose can be a powerful source of motivation. Contributing to our community also strengthens our positive relationships with others.
- Coping: Learning how to effectively cope with stress prepares us to better handle challenges and setbacks.
- Control: Understanding that we can control the outcomes of our decision helps us to be active problem-solvers, instead of victims of circumstance.
The growth mindset
It can be hard not to envy our peers or role models who may seem effortlessly smart, athletic, popular, or skilled. In comparison, we may lack confidence or feel stuck, especially when met with setbacks. One way to increase our resilience is adopting a “growth mindset” – the belief that our abilities and attributes can be developed and improved over time.
How does a growth mindset contrast with a fixed mindset? A fixed mindset is the limiting belief that our abilities are innate and unchangeable. However, a growth mindset is the empowering belief that we can learn and improve, that our capabilities can be meaningfully developed with time and effort.
With a growth mindset, we can be more oriented toward self-improvement, and more willing to persist in the face of adversity or even failure. We see obstacles as opportunities to grow rather than signs that we are inadequate.
When it comes to changing our mindset, language matters. Someone with a fixed mindset might frequently have thoughts like: “Life always sucks for me”, “I never get things right on the first try” or “I will forever be inferior to others”. Black-and-white language like “always”, “never” or “forever” can encourage harmful all-or-nothing thinking through which negative outcomes are viewed as internal and unchanging. In contrast, a growth mindset is characterised by more positive self-talk such as: “I may not be good at this now, but with time and effort I can improve” or “I am not as experienced as others in this area, but I can use my other strengths to help me”.
We can think of a fixed mindset as a “judge and be judged” framework, while a growth mindset is a “learn and help learn” framework. Switching to a growth mindset is not only an individual change, but requires mutual support. Instead of comparing ourselves to others and judging ourselves harshly, think about how we can all learn and improve together.
Challenges and setbacks may make life seem sour, but developing our resilience and focusing on growth can go a long way towards enabling us to cope better. Let’s embrace every opportunity to write the next chapter of our lives as best as we can!
References:
- Health Promotion Board. (22 November 2023). Resilience Is Like a Fruit Bowl. HealthHub. https://www.healthhub.sg/live-healthy/mental-toughness-is-like-a-fruit-bowl
- Health Promotion Board. (22 November 2023). 6 Ways to Develop Resilience for Better Mental Health. HealthHub. https://www.healthhub.sg/live-healthy/mentalhealth_resilience
- Hurley, K. (17 February 2024). What Is Resilience? Your Guide to Facing Life’s Challenges, Adversities, and Crises. Everyday Health. https://www.everydayhealth.com/wellness/resilience/
- Psychology Today. Growth Mindset. https://www.psychologytoday.com/sg/basics/growth-mindset
- Wilson, J. L. (9 March 2024). Make Up Your Mind: Benefits of a Growth Mindset. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/sg/blog/stories-of-the-self/202403/make-up-your-mind-benefits-of-a-growth-mindset
Sarah cares deeply about mental health advocacy, having experienced mental health struggles firsthand. She believes in the transformative power of storytelling, finds hope in everyday acts of kindness and is constantly amazed by the resilience of the human spirit.
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Illustration by Ethan.