By Sarah //
Pause for a few seconds and observe: How are you feeling right now?
It sounds like a simple question, but coming up with an answer might be harder than we expect. Emotions, even our own, are not always easy to describe. How aware are we of our own emotions?
What is emotional awareness, actually?
Emotional awareness is the ability to recognise and make sense of emotions – not just our own, but also others’. It involves being able to:
- Notice when we are experiencing an emotion
- Name the emotion accurately (e.g., happy, afraid, sad, angry)
- Understand the causes and consequences of the emotion
- Express the emotion appropriately to ourselves and others
- Regulate the emotion if needed
Emotional awareness is key to mental health. It equips us with tools to navigate our emotions, including managing difficult emotions we may struggle with. Improving our emotional awareness can help us to cultivate emotional resilience. If we understand our emotions, when life inevitably presents us with a challenge, we’re less likely to panic, get overwhelmed, or repress how we feel. Instead, we’ll be better equipped to move towards more positive emotions.
Our emotions influence how we live our lives and our relationships with others. Here are four specific ways an increased level of emotional awareness can benefit us:
1) Deeper self-understanding. If we lack awareness of certain emotions, we risk being entrapped by them, finding ourselves stuck in habits we’ve overlooked. By identifying and acknowledging our emotions, we can learn from them – gaining insight into our own reactions, responses, and behaviours. This process can lead to greater self-acceptance.
2) Better decision-making skills. Emotions can cloud our judgement and affect our decision-making abilities, often without us realising it. By being more cognisant of how our emotions influence our responses, we can learn to pause and make more carefully considered and balanced decisions.
3) Enhanced stress management. Having emotional awareness also means being able to recognise the interconnectedness of various emotions. Recognising emotions tied to stress, such as anxiety or frustration, can empower us to employ coping strategies more effectively to reduce stress levels.
4) Improved relationship dynamics. Emotional awareness is the first step to communicating our emotions effectively to others. Doing so is an important skill to strengthen any interpersonal relationship – for example, enabling us to set personal boundaries. Furthermore, emotional awareness goes beyond understanding our own emotions; it also aids in recognising and empathising with the feelings of others so we can understand them better.
Demystifying emotions
There are many different approaches to unpacking the complexity of emotions.
One example is the Levels of Emotional Awareness Scale, which outlines five levels of emotional awareness, proposed by researchers Lane and Schwartz. They are:
1. Physical sensations: I am only aware of the physiological, bodily changes that are associated with an emotion, such as a change in your heartbeat or temperature.
2. Action tendencies: I am aware of whether I want to go towards or away from a situation because I can observe that it makes me feel ‘good’ or ‘bad’.
3. Single emotions: I am aware of having one emotion at a time, such as happiness and sadness.
4. Blend of emotions: I can make sense of different types and intensities of emotions that may occur simultaneously, even contrasting feelings. However, I may not understand how other people feel.
5. Blends of blends of emotions: I am aware of experiencing different emotions and can describe them in more complex ways that make sense to me. I am also aware of the emotions of others.
Which level do you think (or feel) you’re consistently at?
It can also be helpful to understand how our brain reacts to events:
- Initial response: Our senses send information to the amygdala, a part of the brain that processes emotions. This triggers an initial emotional response.
- Emotion identification: Our prefrontal cortex, responsible for decision-making and behaviour control, helps us identify and label our emotions.
- Emotion management: With emotional awareness and some practice, we can learn to manage our reactions to these emotions.
These are by no means the definitive or exclusive ways to think about emotions and emotional awareness. Ultimately, understanding emotions in a scientific or clinical way does not have to be a priority. Instead, we can focus on cultivating a framework of understanding that resonates with us.
How can we enhance our emotional awareness?
Improving our emotional awareness is not something that happens overnight. It is a gradual process that will require introspection and practice. We can start small by taking time to monitor, notice, and reflect on our feelings as we move through each day.
1. Identify our feelings.
- Pause and reflect: When an emotion surfaces, take a moment to reflect on it. What is the emotion? How is it affecting me?
- Use a feelings list or an ‘emotion wheel‘: These provide feeling words (sometimes organised into categories) to expand our vocabulary for describing your feelings.
- Take an emotional pulse: Pause for a minute or two, a few times a day, to observe what we are feeling during those moments. Try to name our feelings one at a time.
- Listen to our body: Because feelings originate in our bodies, developing a physical awareness is equally important! Try a “body scan”, starting with paying attention to your head, then going down the rest of our body. Notice any sensations we are experiencing, which are often linked to emotions. To make it easier, find a quiet place where we will not be disturbed, and sit or lie down.
- Practice mindfulness meditation: This involves being present and paying attention to our internal experiences such as feelings, thoughts and sensations. Do so without judgement. Acknowledge our feelings at the given moment, even if it is uncomfortable. This trains our attention – recognising what we are attending to, choosing where to direct our attention, and enhancing our capacity to monitor ourselves.
- Emotional journaling: Regularly jot down emotions and their triggers. Recording our observations can help us greatly in thinking about our emotions.
Psst… At Tapestry, we’re huge fans of journaling! We run Sojourners, a monthly journaling club, and narrative journaling workshops for beginners – find out more on our Programmes page. If you’re curious about using journaling to improve emotional awareness, these articles can give you some ideas to start:
2. What are our feelings telling us?
All of our feelings provide important messages to us. They may inform us about our safety, our motivation, our values, our relationships, and more.
- Notice patterns of feelings and how they relate to our behaviour: What feelings do I tend to have in different settings, such as when I am relaxed, at work, or with particular people? What behaviours lead to comfortable or uncomfortable feelings? Conversely, what feelings lead to specific behaviours? What feelings can help me to achieve my goals and which ones hold me back?
- Identify what feelings we have in reaction to other feelings: What difficult feelings amplify one other? Are there instances where I experience both conflicting feelings – does one outweigh the other? Am I avoiding or judging my own feelings, leading to more stress?
For example, if we experience social anxiety prior to going to an event, does it lead me feeling even sadder? Or is the anxiety overshadowed by the happiness we experience from our attendance? Understanding how our emotions tend to work can help our everyday decision-making and guide our actions.
3. Learn to cope with difficult emotions.
Some feelings – such as shame, vulnerability, sadness, and grief – may be extremely difficult to experience. However, there are specific skills we can practise to help us to respond better to these feelings, such as meditation. If we find yourself especially struggling with coping with our emotions, we may benefit from professional help like counselling or psychotherapy.
Most importantly, let’s exercise self-compassion. Don’t be scared to recognise your feelings, and definitely don’t judge yourself for having certain feelings. Having all sorts of emotions – positive or negative – is part of the experience of being human. Emotional awareness is not about controlling our emotions, but becoming more comfortable with them and responding to them more constructively.
References:
- Darcey, A. (3 March 2023). Emotional Awareness – What It Is and Why You Need It. Harley Therapy. https://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/counselling/emotional-awareness.htm
- Golden, B. (9 October 2023). 10 Ways to Increase Your Emotional Awareness. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/sg/blog/overcoming-destructive-anger/202310/10-ways-to-increase-your-emotional-awareness
- Modern Recovery. (6 July 2023). Emotional Awareness: Definition, Benefits & Techniques. https://modernrecoveryservices.com/wellness/coping/skills/emotional/emotional-awareness/
Sarah is a 22-year-old university student who cares deeply about mental health advocacy, having experienced mental health struggles firsthand. She believes in the transformative power of storytelling, finds hope in everyday acts of kindness and is constantly amazed by the resilience of the human spirit.
Read more of our Tapestry Stories here.
Illustration by Ethan.