By Sofia //
Psychiatric wards. How does hearing that term make you feel? We normally think of them as places to stay away from. On television and in other media, the psych ward is often pictured as an isolated place away from society, where only the most mentally unstable go, and where there is constant monitoring, restraint, and noise. Before I was sent to a psychiatric ward, I had a similar view, and desperately wanted to stay away from such a place.
However, I had no choice. After a suicide attempt, I was confined on the ward as I was judged not to be able to keep myself safe. I was an inpatient on one of IMH’s newest wards, the Short Stay Unit (SSU). The purpose of that ward was to allow acutely distressed patients a place to stay for monitoring for up to 72 hours.
Little did I know my whole perception of psychiatric wards would change, and I would discover how the environment could actually be a place for transformation and growth.
To be honest, it was daunting at first. As the youngest person on the ward, merely 18 years old, I was shocked by the change in my everyday environment. Suddenly, unlike at school, everyone was older than me, whether by only a couple of years or even 30 years. I worried that others would look down on me as weak or vulnerable, and I had no idea how to get along with them.
I was quickly proven wrong after another patient approached me in the ward. She was a similar age to me, so we were able to relate to each other deeply. After many conversations and realizing how more similar we were than I had initially thought, we became really close friends.
Of course, it is useful to exercise caution on the ward, and to choose carefully when to share experiences with others. Yet my new friendship reminded me how I was not alone in my experience, that many young people out there were also struggling. I was so comforted at the way we supported one another as well. Whether we had crying spells or panic attacks – we would stay by each other and help each other get through them. These episodes were never easy to face, but my new friend’s presence helped me bear them more easily.
Another important group of people on the ward are the staff. I will never forget the community of nurses there, and I hold them really close to my heart to this day. As I needed more time for recovery, I spent a total of 25 days on the ward, and I was able to slowly learn their names, and then subsequently their personality and nursing habits. They were busy, writing reports, charting, managing medication – and after staying three and a half weeks, I definitely had a greater awareness and insight into their jobs. Despite their busy schedules, the beauty of the nurses was their empathy, how much they cared for the patients. The most precious memories I have of the ward were the conversations I had with the nurses. These interactions were rare due to their busyness, but meant more to me than they could ever know.
I admired them so much. I wanted to be like them too, leading a normal life of work, instead of being stuck in the ward. I used the time to my advantage though, to form relationships with the nurses. A few nurses in particular really stood out to me. They were the ones who were diligent in their job, gentle and kind, working very hard but caring about the interactions they had with the patients. I had some really heartening conversations with them. There was one time when one particular nurse was sitting beside me and writing her usual reports on her laptop, but she still remained attentive to my presence. We talked for around half an hour about what I could do to make my life better, and that conversation helped me to believe in myself more. Furthermore, one day, knowing that I loved doing origami, another nurse came into the ward enthusiastically and wanted me to teach her how to fold origami penguins. These were just a few of many moments that made my stay so much better.
The nurses truly showed that although nursing involves a lot of practical work that takes up time, they still cared about the socio-emotional well being of the patients. This mattered a great deal to me, and it made the dull life of the ward just a little better.
Although I had a relatively good experience, it was at the short stay unit, and I cannot speak for the experience of others on longer stay wards. I would encourage everyone to seek help, and this might include admitting yourself when needed. Don’t let yourself get to that breaking point before something detrimental can happen. Seeking help isn’t a weakness; it is a major sign of strength and courage. While popular images of psychiatric wards are often negative, they may be inaccurate, and it is OK to be admitted into the ward to take a break from society once in a while. Sometimes, in the long run, it’s a necessary thing to do. Admission may, of course, not solve your problems, and how you continue to care for yourself and to receive care after your discharge matters. Take one day at a time, be gentle with yourself. You’re really never alone.
Sofia is an 18-year-old student. She loves learning about other people’s stories and increasing awareness about mental health. Sofia hopes to contribute to a more empathetic society that supports people with mental health conditions.
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Image Credit: Sofia